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I don’t get as much stimulation when I top. I’m lucky that my partner is a total top, so we’re a nice fit.
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The orgasms I experience as a bottom are really intense and I think that’s only possible when I bottom. I’m not a natural dominant in bed and that is generally the position for the top. So generally, while I could top, it’s a lot of pressure on me to maintain stamina and energy. Then I feel awkward, especially if they are really enjoying it. If I am fucking someone – even if I am enjoying myself – I’m awkward with positions or getting a good flow so I tend to then get soft. People always assume I’m a top as I’m told I have an above average-sized dick, but while I get hard and horny, I generally go soft pretty easily. So being a total bottom is just easier I’ve found, especially if you are a bit more submissive like I am, and it’s what I do better at. Whenever I have topped, it’s generally quite a task for me and I have to be really quite horny for it. I then had little experience as a top, so I was always wary of being a top and I didn’t want to be a disappointing one. I would probably say that I just stuck with the position I began my sex life with. I have anxiety about trying to control everything else in my life so sex is the one thing I don’t feel like I have to, and I don’t want to. When you bottom, you don’t have to worry about controlling things. I have tried topping and I didn’t like it because I was nervous the whole time. I would say I’m a complete bottom for sure, but kind of in a ‘fight me’ type of way and I prefer it because I like the feeling of not being in control of the situation. It feels like an overall better experience for me.Ĭould it be because the bottom wasn’t that cooperative? Yes. I tried once and it’s not that I didn’t like it, I just feel much better if I’m bottoming. So we asked some total bottoms why topping’s just not for them: Alex, 22, gay, from Milan These include passive, submissive, oral and power bottoms, just to name a few. To add even more complication to the equation, there can also be a spectrum of different types of bottoms. From sexual gratification and power play to medical reasons, the possibilities are endless. There can be a multitude of reasons why LGBTI people have these binary preferences. It’s not uncommon for LGBTI people to have a preference with topping or bottoming.īut some may only want to do one or the other and they’re called ‘total tops’ or ‘total bottoms’.